youre probably the same anon…I answered your question
The Kiss of Death
American Horror Story: Asylum E07
The girl you were engaged to?
im not sure if you already answered this and i hope you dont mind me asking but what exactly happened between you and your now ex- girl friend?
Im not going to go into detail…I love her and she loves me, things got bad and we’re not together because well mistakes where made but I love her more than anything in this world and regardless of everything I would go back to her in a heartbeat which I know will happen in time. We’re talking again and we’re doing great but im hoping time and the way we care for each other will heal everything and things will go back to the way theyre supposed to be
You're so beautiful and cute... and a good person, may be. I can't be sure, but i can see it in the things you wrote. Sweet drams :)
thank you for thinking so. and thank you for taking the time to read those over. Some times I feel like I write but no one reads.
Yes I remember
I remember those days when I would get lost in you.
When the Words I love you where etched into my skin like tattoos, when your touch left trails of heat all over me.
Yes I remember those days when you said I love you, out of place but in tune.
I remember the day you said marry me I said yes, I said yes with everything in me, I said yes and I said yes so sincerely that my insides just bursted into flames I swear I was burning from the inside out, I swear I felt my heart burn through my skin. It was beating so so hard that I swore you could feel it too.
That night we warmed up or home with the heat of our bodies. Your touch was like a burning flame your tongue like an arrow shooting through me, all over me.
Our hopes and our dreams where like a ray of sun peeking through my window in the morning so new, so full of life. nothing has ever given me more pleasure than the way my own name sounds coming from your lips in those moments where youre not sure if you should say stop or go. So you utter my name, at first its nothing but air escaping from your lips nothing but a whisper but later the only word you can pronounce it comes easier than yes or no.
Yeah I remember the day when things went from dream to nightmare, from light to dark the day that things ceased. There was nothing but hate in your tone there was nothing but heartbreak and deception in mine. The tears flowing from my eyes burnt and left a warmer trail than your touch ever did. The idea of not having you the idea of US not being a possibility anymore of the WE that we shared for oh so long vanishing in pure air, senses started to fail and I was ovewhelmed, Exhausted everything I once had was now gone.
Seconds, Minutes, Hours, Days, Weeks, Months. Time became nothing but a number. Everything was now a number. The times we kissed, The times we smiled, The times I basked in the beauty of your naked body, The times we said this would last forever. And I counted every one of this events time and time again just like a first grader afraid to forget. Afraid that I would forget the number of times I kissed you, The number of times I counted the frekles on your back, the number of times I outlined the shape of your face, The millions of times I looked into your eyes and got lost in everything that you are, in everything that we where.
You have seven freckles on the left side of your face, Five in the other. I said I love you a million and one times. I kissed your lips 2 million times, I spent 17,520 hours by you, I have put a number to everything even the amount of times my heart skipped a beat when you kissed me good night, when you kissed me good morning or when you simply looked into my eyes with a promise of forever by your side. I have managed to number everything to make it easier on my brain, I turned the emotions and the memories into numbers and made a formula to equate to joy that you gave me those days.
I keep putting numbers down, I keep trying to put a real value to this feeling deep in my chest no x or y, but something real. But I cant. I keep looking at our life together through a kaleidoscope so full of color so alive, how can this be over? how can I put a number to something as infinite as us?
How can I put a number to something as infinite as the numbers themselves something that will never have an end.
As I sit here wounded but hopeful, I want nothing more than your arms around me. I want nothing more than the warm touch of your skin against my own, I want nothing more than to bask in the beauty of you, In the beauty of us. Because together we are magic, together we are infinite.
Oh the constant battle against myself and everything that I am the constant pushing and pulling that goes on inside me. Everything starts failing every once in a while and it hurts not just mentally but the physical agony leaves me breathless and makes me feel like the whole point of my being is unexistent. This is like fighting an uphill battle against none other than myself. I am my worst enemy.
I am condemned for eternity to the prison of my mind, solitary confinement it is. The things inside, tear me apart. The frantic fight in my day to day to get away from my own thoughts from my own reality from my destiny, Its honestly all too much.
Why was I put in this earth? why was I given the chance that was denied to so many? what was the predisponed plan of the creator for me? Maybe it was nothing but a slight miscalculation a little breach on the system, a fault in the program of natural selection that lead to this. The theory of survival of the fitest was completely over looked here.
I should be elated while looking back at my life basking in the miracle of every breath I take but Im not, I look at every minute I live in complete and utter disbelief…how has a creature like me even made it this far?
Failure after failure I am still trying to succeed, I am still trying to win and I will. Some day I will.
what do you mean?
Im not in a relationship but It doesnt change my state of mind I guess?